Jason vs. Sandy Claws: The Friday the 13th Christmas Showdown
By Death Wish Coffee — / Death Wish Coffee Blog
The Nightmare Before Friday the 13th
By Angela Garrity, Guest blogger
Do you think Santa knows…it’s Friday the 13th…maybe even the true Nightmare Before Christmas? The Holidays have their own horrors about them, but what if Jason Voorhees was looking for tips from the Jolly Old Man himself?
Jason doesn’t have much going on these days, and quite frankly hasn’t since 2003, when he walked out of the lake armed with both his machete and the head of Freddy Krueger.
Ten years before, he heard rumors of a “mysterious fearsome king with deep, mighty voice. Like a lobster – huge and red, who sets out to “slay” with his “rein gear” on carting bulging sacks with his big, great arms. On a dark, cold night, under full moonlight, he flies into a fog, like a vulture in the sky.” They call him “Sandy Claws” and Jason finally has a chance to observe the work of the artist — silently, of course.
Jason has been steadily creeping this “Sandy Claws,” watching him quietly move from house to house while everyone is sleeping, scuttling unlikely entrances and exits, such as chimneys, and remains undetected. Jason finds he has a lot in common with this “Sandy Claws," like breaking into houses — but why doesn't he finish the job, and make sure no one wakes up from a long winter's nap?
In the last house on the block, Jason conceals himself behind the giant Christmas tree. As Kris Kringle deposits the final presents from his bag, he turns his back to grab some cookies and milk, left for him by the children of the house. Jason moves like a silent night to put an end to Santa's yearly adventures and raises his large machete which sparkles in the firelight.
The flash from the blade causes Sandy Claws to move just as the blade comes crashing down to the spot he once stood, and Jason's arm follows through into the roaring fireplace. With half of his body engulfed in flames, Jason flails about and Sandy Claws quickly makes his retreat, with one finger to his nose he magically disappears and reappears on the roof next to his sleigh. As the reindeer make streaks across the sky, the flaming undead monster runs back into the December night.
Jason doesn’t quite get it that he is a killer and Sandy Claws is a gifter – these two things don’t generally belong remotely close to each other but can finally come together in peace and harmony during the special time of year. After all, no one can escape the magic that is Christmas.
Listen to our Friday the 13th Holiday playlist here.
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